


Fire and Ice

by NoctuaFoxglove



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: Deconstruction of a canon relationship, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Get ready for a very raw and personal fanfiction, M/M, Please read the preface before you come at me, References to Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctuaFoxglove/pseuds/NoctuaFoxglove
Summary: Ral Zarek's fire has been dying under the stress of knowing the danger that inevitably threatens his home and the effort of trying to save it. But before he loses all hope, he meets someone that serves to reignite him, driving him to new heights. But is this relationship truly stoking the flames, or will he find himself frozen over for good?





	1. Hope

**Author's Note:**

> [Note to new readers: I have no interest now in continuing this fic, on account of this relationship being portrayed excellently in a canon work. However, I won't be taking it down or orphaning it. Despite my full change of heart, my criticisms of WotS's depiction of the relationship still stands, and I won't censor my writing, especially when it relates to real-life experiences of mine. I may change my opinions, but I am allowed to still stand by my work.]
> 
> A preface:
> 
> This fic is one that is deeply personal to me. It explores a perspective that some might not agree with, and this is okay. Just as you are free to disagree, I am free to write the content I see fit. 
> 
> This fic explores Ral and Tomik's relationship and how it started through the lens of how I read and interpreted them through War of the Spark. As written, the relationship reminded me uncomfortably of very unhealthy relationships from my past, especially near the end of the book. I concede that this pairing may be written better in the future within canon (EDIT: It has. The relationship as written in The Gathering Storm is far, far better than what I saw in War of the Spark, and I have absolutely no issue with it, in fact I really enjoy it there.), and there is indeed plenty of room for improvement. And I am not here to tell anyone who enjoys this relationship that they are bad people for doing so. Also, I don't hate Tomik, despite what I've said in the past. I think that he can be done well under better writing. However, I have decided to use this perspective as a vehicle for processing and sharing deep-seeded trauma, something I have wanted to do for a long time. 
> 
> If you are reading this fic to mock the angry rantings of a bitter Zeleren shipper, you won't find it here. What I do or do not ship has nothing to do with my motivations for writing this. I welcome criticism on all my works, but please give it on the fic's own merits and flaws and not on the assumption that I am just angry that Tomik got in the way of a popular fandom ship. 
> 
> This fic has caused a lot of misunderstanding and bad feelings in the MtG community. But I'm not sorry for writing it. I don't expect everyone to like or agree with this perspective. But, as the old fanfic saying goes, don't like, don't read. 
> 
> Thank you,  
> Noctua

Ral Zarek was starting to lose his mind. 

Jace -The Guildpact, he meant, had been missing for months now, and already the guilds were at each other's throats. That idiot. He'd left without so much of a warning, abandoned his post and left the plane to suffer. Tensions rose, guildmasters disappeared, replaced by strangers that had agendas. Planeswalkers, most of them. Project Lightning Bug had picked them up, but couldn't tell Ral anything about their motivations. 

And yet, he could make a pretty good guess. 

The dragon. That damned dragon was planning something, and the weight of his inevitable coming to Ravnica weighed heavy on Ral's thoughts. Nicol Bolas was far too arrogant to realize that Ral had already conned one millenia-old dragon, and was more than willing to do so again. The big horned idiot also was unprepared for facing a dragon potentially older and more powerful than himself.  


But, ultimately, what did this mean for Ral?

Stress upon stress upon stress. Niv-Mizzet went into hiding, and Ral was appointed the role of Guildmaster. It was a dream come true, or at least it felt as though it should have been. The thing was, it hadn't come from his own merits. He was being used by two sides, and though his loyalties were clear, the stakes were high, far too high for one human being to contain.  


And yet, taking no action wasn't an option. Ravnica's hopes hung on him, since the other planeswalker with a stake in her fate abandoned her. 

The least he could do was try to make a plan of his own. And so he set off on the task of gathering those who could at least make a difference, keep the Guilds from eating each other while he also sorted out how to save Ravnica on a planar level. 

Jace was gone, and he'd lost hope that he'd ever return. Maybe that was pessimistic. An overreaction. But Jace hadn't just been the Guildpact. He was also his friend. The only person in this city that could understand him, not just as a person and an intellectual, but as a planeswalker. Even the rare few he could share his secret with, how many of them would really, truly understand? But Jace had left, without a single explanation, without any warning, and without even coming back to check. Ral's heart broke as he realized what this meant. 

Jace didn't care. Not about him, not about Ravnica. The Guildpact would be happy to see his home and responsibilities burn. 

All of this, the stress and betrayal, ate at Ral's soul. Even his passion was beginning to retreat into some dark place in his chest. Oh, he still cared, and he would do everything in his power to save his home. 

But his actions felt scripted. He was going through the motions, just to survive. It was a disgusting, unnatural feeling to him, but he was becoming too exhausted for anything else. 

It was another one of those nights. It was Teysa Karlov this time, and he'd agreed to meet with her in some back-alley pub to discuss business. He could tell how much she hated being here, her lip curling at the dirt and dated, barely-existant decor. That was a source of mild amusement; Even if she was much more reasonable than many of her compatriots in the Orzhov, she was still definitely one of them, and not being surrounded by gold and glitter was alien to her. 

However, things were a bit different this time. She didn't just have her usual entourage of a handful of guards with her. There was someone new. A young man in white robes, with fluffy brown hair and doe-eyes, who caught Ral's gaze for just a moment. Their eyes locked, and the young man gave a bashful half-smile. 

Ral wasn't sure what it was about him. Maybe it was his soft face, his gentle figure, the way those soft lips just barely turned up, the slight and growing pink to his pale cheeks. But he couldn't stop staring.  
"...Who's this?" He said, with as much dignity as he could muster, gesturing towards the other man. 

The young man reached up, brushing some hair from his eyes, his face growing a bit pinker as Ral acknowledged him. Teysa was about to ask Ral who he meant, but the subject beat her to it. 

"Oh! I'm, um. I'm Tomik. Tomik Vrona. It's good to meet you." He answered, his voice light and airy. 

"He's my assistant," Teysa added, "We've been working together for several years now. He does good work, and I thought he could help us here." 

"Oh. I... I see." Ral's eyes were still locked on Tomik, tracing up and down his body despite himself. He was so surprised by this sudden burst of emotion from his deadened heart that he tried to put the breaks on these glances, only for Tomik to smile once more at him. This time, he held the expression on his face, and he gave a slight nod. 

It was okay. He'd been given permission. Reciprocation in a place where he never thought he'd find it. Even if he'd had to deny so much of what he was, this... this was something he could keep. 

Ral's chest fluttered and a spike of heat ran down his stomach. It was the most alive he'd felt in months.

This city still contained a shred of hope.


	2. Cherry Wine

That wouldn't be the only night Ral would spend with Tomik.

After that evening, Ral made it his mission to catch the young lawmage alone, without the pretense of planar salvation. He wasn't hard to find; Wherever Teysa was, Tomik was usually trailing close behind. The hard part was finding him alone, without his arms full of scrolls (he wondered how Tomik kept from dropping them, remembering how often Jace scattered his piled papers from his desk), on his way to one guildhall to the next. Eventually, though, he managed, his eyes lighting up as he saw the Advokist from behind, wandering out from a bank. Before he could reach his gargoyle, Ral rushed over to him, waving him down.

"Hey!" Ral exclaimed, trying his best not to shout too loud. Blessedly, it was enough to turn Tomik's head, just as he was climbing onto his mount. A smile crossed that pretty face, and he hopped back down. Ral stopped directly in front of him, slightly out of breath and not just from the running.

"Heh. There you are! I was hoping I'd find you around here somewhere." he was speaking a little quickly, his thoughts becoming slippery as he saw the face that hadn't left his head all day (weren't his eyes blue? No, they're soft, honey brown. Must have remembered wrong.)  


"Ah, sorry for being so scarce," Tomik answered, "You know how it is. I can't believe you've even managed to break away long enough to even start looking."

"I know, right?" Ral's words were punctuated by an awkward laugh, something that sounded strange in his normally confident throat. But speaking was hard through the fluttering. "Hard enough to find a few seconds to breathe."

"I certainly hope you haven't come seeking me out of emergency. Did something happen, or..."

"No! No. Of course not. If it was that, you'd be dragged off by now." Tomik gave a little laugh in response, a sound that only made Ral's heart pound harder in his chest, "I... I was just wondering. You're not doing anything important, are you?"

Tomik gave an exasperated sigh.

"Everything we do these days is important."

"Even, maybe... taking a bit of time to go out for some drinks?" Ral raised his eyebrows in time with a hopeful smile.

"You're suggesting we... take a break, then?" Tomik sounded almost incredulous.

"You know we could both use it."

"Just the two of us?" Tomik continued to press. This guy really was a lawmage, wasn't he? Behind those doe eyes was something shrewd, calculating. It reminded Ral of Teysa. Fitting, as that's who trained him. Every word he spoke felt carefully chosen.

"I mean. Yeah. Why not?" Ral scrambled to make justifications in his head, expecting more questioning. But Tomik cut him off with a surprisingly clear answer.

"Sure. I think that for both our sakes, we could probably use it." His expression softened again, the lawyer's gaze fading from his eyes, replaced by warmth.

"But it'll just be- Oh. So that's a yes?" Ral felt a swell in his chest.

"Of course. That's literally what I just said, isn't it?" Tomik laughed softly again, "Don't worry about it. One night without me isn't going to kill them. I have things wrapped up for tonight, anyway."

"Okay! Alright. Great!" Ral physically couldn't stop smiling, "There's a nice place not too far from here-"

"And they'll be on me tonight," Tomik gave him a knowing glance. Ral could hardly be surprised. Guild of money and all that. Still, it was a refreshing change. After all the running around under the service of others, someone was doing something for him. Even something small meant the world.

"Sure, if you insist." Ral tried to sound casual. But his real tone was hard to hide among the feeling that color was returning to the world around him.  
  


 

* * *

 

 

"So your folks turned themselves into ghosts just to keep watching you?"

"Shh... But yes, they did."

"Pff. Wish mine would have given that much of a damn."

Ral and Tomik were seated in a back booth of the pub, between them a second bottle of wine. Tomik wasn't much of a drinker, only lightly sipping at his glass, but Ral had consumed enough already to more than cover for the both of them.

They'd gotten some funny looks as they walked in. A handful of raised eyebrows at the meeting of two very disparate guilds. Scattered in the glances were a few shakes of the head. Poor Izzet bastard probably coming in to negotiate debts. But there was no ulterior motive here. Just two very tired, very busy men, out for a nice evening.

"I take it you didn't have a great relationship with them."

"Hell no. Not with them or anyone else in the district I grew up in." Ral held his glass loosely in his hand, swirling the liquid in agitation, "Backwater shithole. I wasn't worth the time of day. Who cares about a rain mage? Hah. Well, guess who's something now."

Tomik took a contemplative sip of his wine.

"It must have taken so much, to climb up from such a low place with no help." He watched Ral closely, "Not all of us can be as fortunate as I was. But the effort... I think it says a lot about you."

"Thank you!" Ral said with a sigh of relief at being acknowledged, "Somebody gets it. But here I am. Worked my whole damn life. Everyone told me I'd never be anything, but I am something."  


"Guildmaster is certainly a big something."

"Sure should be, shouldnt it?" Ral's voice slurred slightly, and he leaned heavily onto his other hand, running it through his white-streaked hair, "But you've seen all the bullshit that's gone with it."

"Could have been under better circumstances..."

"I'm dying over here." Ral said with a bitter laugh, "Can you imagine what it's like? I thought it would be better than this." His stomach stirred, slight nausea mixing with his drunkenness.

"...I can, in a way," Tomik answered carefully, "Teysa's struggled with the same thing for years. But you... You never had what she did. The connections, the privilege. You were always alone, weren't you? In that way, I really can't imagine. I'm sorry."

 _I wasn't always alone,_ Ral thought bitterly.

"You think if all this literally kills me, you can arrange something with my ghost? I don't think Niv-Mizzet would appreciate his stand-in just keeling over."

It was Tomik's turn to laugh a little at the joke, and he reached forward, resting his hand lightly on Ral's, stilling it from swirling his wine. The gesture cut through the sickness, the fog, the loneliness, replacing it with a blissful lightness.

"We won't have to arrange anything," he said softly, "You're not alone anymore."

Those words wrapped their way around Ral's heart and squeezed. He stared dumbly at Tomik, equal parts startled and clinging onto the sight of his face for dear life.

"I... yeah. I guess I'm not anymore, huh...?"

Tomik tightened his hold just a little, driving his point home.

"Can I..." Ral started, "Can I go home with you tonight?"

Tomik smiled.

"Of course."


	3. Sun It Rises

Ral woke to far too much sunlight pouring from a nearby window. The chirping of morning birds crashed against his ears, spiking his headache to new heights. The only respite against the pain was the smell of fresh coffee quickly growing in... wherever this was. The soft sheets of the bed he laid in rested directly against his bare skin.

He groaned, shifting a bit and signalling his awakening. But before he could sit up, something was laid over his face, blissfully blocking out the light. It was cool and silky, a soft, white strip of fabric. It smelled like…

"Good morning." that airy voice spoke.

Like Tomik.

"Mornin'..." Ral grunted, thinking it better to try to get up, not when every little movement made his stomach spin. "Fuck's sake..."

"You did quite a number on yourself last night," He could hear footsteps move closer to the bed, followed by a weight settling down on it beside him. A soft hand, unused to any work harder than handling a quill stroked Ral's forehead and something that felt like warm, soothing sunlight seeped beneath his skin. White mana, Ral immediately recognized. This wasn't a skilled channeling, but it was enough to fade the pain, further and further until it finally, blessedly vanished.

"Is that better? I'm not the best at healing, but-" Tomik withdrew his hand.

"No, no, that's good." Ral answered. He didn't remove the cloth just yet, letting his body loosen and sink into the bed, relaxing from the lack of pain. "Yeah... Guess I went a little overboard, huh?"

"You've never been one to do things in half-measures," Tomik said, sounding amused, "You proved that in more ways than one." He stood back up and stepped away once more, leaving Ral to mull over just what that meant.

The answer quickly splayed itself on the inside of the cloth over his eyes, and Ral's cheeks burned from underneath it.

With that context another scent made itself clear in the room, embedded into the sheets around him. Sweat. That's right, Ral thought. His own home was too far away, so Tomik had to drag him back to his. Through all the stress and loneliness, they weren't content to just go to sleep. It was surprisingly gradual at first, even the drunken haze of Ral's mind wondering if what he was experiencing was real, all light touches and hesitation, but of course it wouldn't stay limited to coy attentions. Specific images were still slippery to hold onto, but he couldn't mistake the touch of skin on skin, the raw heat of each other's bodies, the sweet, pleasantly surprised cries of his one-night lover as need surged over the both of them, overtaking them in a clumsy, aimless, but glorious outpouring of passion.

Ral had held onto the other man for dear life. In his slightly-sore muscles he felt the ache of what he'd been missing all this time. What he'd finally found once more. Would it go further than this? What if Tomik just told him to leave, having had his fun with him?

He finally tugged the fabric from his eyes and found the sunlight no longer clawed at his head. The room was clean and white-walled, tastefully decorated with a few plants and expensive-looking paintings, including a portrait of what he could only assume was Tomik and his family if the soft-faced boy flanked by two stern-faced, dyed-in-the-wool Advokists was any indication.

Born and raised in the Syndicate. What a strange place to find himself coming off of the most intense one-night stand he'd ever had, Ral thought idly. But whatever worked, worked, right? Companionship could be found in strange places, whether in the home of an Advokist or... or somewhere away from Ravnica entirely.

He closed his eyes once more, trying to gage if his memories were from the previous night or even further before. No, that would be stupid. He was naked in Tomik's bed. No more second-guessing. This was real.

The door opened, catching Ral's eye. Tomik strode on once more, giving Ral the first sober, personal look at the man he'd ever had. His brown hair was a mess, and he was wrapped in a silky-looking fur robe, trimmed with golden fabric (always gold, with the Orzhov...). He smiled at Ral, and set a mug of coffee on the side table.

"Sorry. Just had to wait for this to finish." Tomik said, moving to the other side so he could climb in with him, "I'm going to assume you like it black."

"As hell itself." Ral laughed, carefully cradling the mug close and sipping at it.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Better, thanks." Ral held the mug delicately, feeling slightly self-conscious. Spilling this onto the white sheets didn't seem like something that would endear himself much to his new... friend. 

"We, uh... You were right. We had quite a night, didn't we?"

"It seemed like you needed it..." Tomik said softly. Ral felt his face start to warm again.

"Needed it? Fuck, that bad, huh?" He shook his head. "It's... been a rough couple of days."

"No kidding." Tomik looked Ral over, a soft smile on his face, "You, uh.... you cried."

Ral's warmth turned into a fire on his cheeks. He turned his head away, frowning a little.

"No, no! It's okay." Tomik rest his hand on Ral's arm and squeezed slightly, "You don't have to feel bad. It's... understandable."

"Is it? That's kind of fucking sad..."

"It's fine. Like you said, it's been rough. You had a lot to let out."

Ral turned his eyes before the rest of his face, stormy grey eyes watching the other man's expression closely.

"...You mean that...?"

Tomik nodded.

"You seem like you're in a lot of pain. Very... lonely, yes?"

Ral buried his hand into his hair, gripping into it slightly.  


"You're the first person I've been with since-... for a while." he said, voice revealing something raw and painful, "I don't know how much more I can take, Tomik. This is the first time I've felt... anything since-..."

"Shhh..." Tomik's hand moved from Ral's arm to his chest, fingertips tracing over old scars and burns from who-knows-what. "We can take care of that in time. For now... just rest, okay? You can stay here as long as you need to."

Ral's heart fluttered, pounding in his chest from the effort of not breaking down again. No. He was sober now. He had appearances to keep. He was still Ral Zarek, and he'd found new life and meaning, right? There was nothing to feel sad over. Instead he smiled, showing teeth as he was used to, but his eyes glistened slightly.

"Thank you."


	4. This Is Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's at this point that I'm going to have to really emphasize the tags. If you find depictions of emotional or psychological abuse triggering, please don't read this fanfic.

Ral had been so afraid that the night they'd spent together would be the only one. But it was just the beginning for the two of them.

He'd tried to go home to his own apartment, where the organized chaos of half-finished projects scattered on every available surface matched the inner workings of his head. And for a few nights, when he wasn't spending them with Tomik, it worked. But where once he enjoyed the chance to be alone with his own thoughts, working them to life in metal and electricity, now he chafed. He missed the soft voice that judged and admired him at the same time, the gloved archivist's hand that would organize his tools when he had his back turned (how was he supposed to even find them, if they kept being moved from where he'd left them?).

But what really did him in was finding one of Jace's notebooks, poking just out from underneath his bed. Ral knew he shouldn't but he opened it anyway. He could practically hear Jace's voice in the small, neat handwriting on the pages as it made observations about projects and actions, and even had a sketch (Jace was more talented at art than he ever gave himself credit for) of Ral, from behind, hunched over his desk.

It was enough to completely poison the apartment.

He closed the book and left it behind. His apartment would be a place to store his projects and do personal work. Nothing more. He knew where his heart belonged now.

But would Tomik let him stay?

His heart raced as the time to ask the question approached, and he was sure that Tomik could hear it, his head resting against Ral's bare chest as the storm mage threaded his hands through his hair. But if he noticed, he didn't say anything. The petting was settling Ral's nerves, if nothing else, making Tomik's hair stick up in funny angles (How did it always look so tostled? Guess it was just from the wind, since there wasn't any cloak to muss it up).

"...Tomik?" Ral finally broke the silence.

"Mmh...?"

"I, uh. I have something I want to ask."

"Go ahead..."

"I... well. I was wondering if maybe... You wouldn't mind me staying over here? Like, full time." It was a bit of an awkward drop of the question, but better to rip the bandage off all at once.

Tomik hesitated, and the question hung in the air. But, he soon gave a short, small laugh against Ral's chest.

"You mean you weren't already?" he said, smiling sleepily.

"Pff. Well, we could make it official, anyway. What do you say?" Ral's body loosened, his petting getting less agitated.

"Sure," Tomik said through a yawn, "I think we could both use the company."  


That night was the best Ral had slept in what felt like years.

* * *

The decision to ask, and the answer he received were the only things that kept Ral going through all the stress and strain of the following days. No matter how many cats he needed to herd, no matter how hard he had to work to keep his home from completely crumbling under his feet, it was worth it for the warmth and closeness that waited for him every night, the hot, black coffee he'd wake up to. There was something that made the future look less terrifying, because no matter what, something bright and beautiful glittered on the other end.

What it was became more than just sex. More than just intimacy. He was becoming sure that it was love.

"...So anyway, like I was saying, I told him! I kept telling that big lug that the calibration was off. But he insisted that he knew what he was doing. Ended up blowing up that poor Weird, had to wait for hours for the walls to thaw out. What a fucking mess."

"Mhmm."

Ral knew he was rambling. But how could he not, when he finally had someone to listen? It felt so good, to let his thoughts out to someone other than just ranting to himself in whispered tones, alone in his apartment.

"Just goes to show what happens when you don't listen to your superiors. Hell, even when I was at the bottom, I had to kiss some ass, you know?"

"Yes."

"It's the only way you learn. You pick up what you can get and let it pile up. And now look at me! Izzet Guildmaster!"

"Mmh." Tomik finished the rest of his coffee, "It's quite the accomplishment. You should feel lucky that Niv-Mizzet gave that honor to you."

Ral paused. Blinked. But then continued.

"...Yeah. It feels good to be that trusted, I guess."

Tomik smiled, and gathered up the empty mugs.

"You certainly earned it." he said softly, "I can pour you some more coffee if you'd like, but we shouldn't be much longer. Lady Teysa's waiting for us."

"Nah, you're right. We should get going. I can always grab some on the way if I really need a fix."

Teysa's meeting place was within walking distance, so they stepped out of the apartments. Even this wealthy Orzhov district seemed strained. Ral didn't even have to concentrate all that much to hear the rumors flying, about what had happened to the Ghost Council and the mysterious woman who had inherited their duties, about Teysa being released from prison, about hundreds of spirits being set free. Difficult times, and yet still the collectors made their rounds. Some things never changed in the Orzhov.

The two men walked together, but they still kept a little distance between them. This wasn't the time to be seen as lovers, at least that's what they had discussed before. The last thing Ravnica needed was yet another scandal, the Izzet guildmaster embroiled in some lurid affair with his debtor or whatever stupid thing they'd come up with.

Ral was positive that this was the understanding they'd come to. And yet an older Orzhov man still stared at them both as they walked, his eyes narrowed slightly.

Though Ral didn't see him, Tomik did. He reached forward and grabbed Ral's hand, squeezing it, still watching the man. Ral stopped, and looked back at Tomik, confusion clear on his face, but his lover didn't let go.

The man cleared his throat, giving the two a disapproving glance. And only now did Ral notice him.

"Young man," he said, "You're aware that's very inappropriate conduct to have with a client?"

Tomik looked startled, his doe-eyes wide, but luckily for him, Ral stepped in first before he could stammer out a response.

"You'd be best off minding your own business." Ral puffed out his chest, speaking sternly, "I'm not a 'client'. I am the acting Izzet guildmaster, and you'd best remember that before you go telling us what to do."

"I'm just giving him a warn-"

"I'll be the one to decide what's deserving of a warning," Ral growled, placing himself between the man and Tomik. Some part of him realized that these measures were likely unnecessary, but damn if they weren't satisfying, "You can at least understand rank, yes? I'm in charge of keeping everything you know and love running. So the least you can do is show some respect."

"I... Right." The man, flustered, decided to cut his losses, quickly vanishing back into the crowd without another word.

Ral exhaled heavily through his nose, promptly turning away, with Tomik quick to follow. But within a few steps, the vindication he felt from putting the man in his place started to sour.

"...Hey. I thought we were supposed to keep things down low?" Ral asked, "What was that about?"

Tomik hung his head, only turning his eyes up towards Ral.

"I'm sorry..." he said, "I swear, I didn't see him. Didn't think anyone was looking. Thought that maybe I could sneak in a little touch, but I guess I couldn't."

Ral sighed. Poor thing. It would be pretty wrong of him to hold it against his lover for just needing a little affection.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Just... try to be a little more careful next time, okay?"

"Yes..." Tomik gave a sad little smile.

Ral gave a very subtle brush of his fingers on Tomik's hand before the both of them started to walk again. More questions still hung in his thoughts. But this wasn't the time to ask them.

He stored them away for later, and pushed aside the strange, unsteady pressure in his chest.


	5. Anchor

Ral sometimes wondered, though he never dared say it out loud, if Tomik cared as much about him.

Tomik was always quiet, so quiet. Reserved. It was to be expected, Ral thought. The man was an Advokist. Every word he spoke had to be deliberately chosen and thought out. Sure, he had dealt with more careful minds than his own before (and one that knew what he was going to say before he did), but dealing with one whose entire job was caution would take some time to getting used to.

But it was alright. For the time, Ral's energy was enough to carry the both of them. And Tomik was at least a good listener, right? Stresses and worries poured out of Ral every night, and he was thankful, so thankful, to have someone on the other end to catch them.

Again and again, the nights would pass, and Ral would wake up and have their bond reassured. The days were chaotic, the future, unpredictable. But the nights, the morning, were warm. There lived peace, contentment. He wasn't alone.

He never would be again.

It would be Tomik that would make sure of that. One morning, in the haze of half-sleep, Ral woke to find him staring at the ceiling, already awake. It wasn't unusual for him to be the first up, but something was clearly on his mind.

"Hey..." Ral muttered, "You okay?"

"What if..." Tomik started, "...What if something happens to us?"

Ral's heart jolted in his chest.

"What? No, don't be like that." He said, "Even if either of us die, we can have things arranged. Your folks did that, right? It would suck, but it wouldn't be the end of the world."

Tomik turned those big eyes to him.

"We're in a dangerous place, right now, is all. Nothing makes sense. Who knows what could happen. And..." He hesitated.

"...And?"

"You... can leave, right?" Tomik's voice lowered to a whisper, even in the privacy of the room, "Leave Ravnica."

"Oh. Uh. I haven't. In a long time." Ral's stomach twisted, knowing this was a lie. But Tomik didn't need to know  _ everything _ , right?

"That's good, but... I don't know, what if it becomes a necessity? What if... you get lost there? Get killed out there?" He turned onto his side, draping an arm over Ral, "I don't want to lose you. If you die out there, there's... nothing I could do. I can't follow you."

"I know," Ral met him, wrapping both arms around him and pulling him close to his chest. He ran his fingers through that fluffy brown hair, trying to forget the realization. Even if he didn’t leave often, at least before, he  _ could  _ be followed. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? I promise I won't leave."

Tomik looked up, only his eyes visible over Ral's chest.

"Even if you absolutely  _ have _ to... You wouldn't forget me, would you?"

Ral gave him a tight squeeze.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Tomik went silent, and for a few minutes those concerns hung over the two, a dark cloud in the bright bedroom. Eventually, they untangled and went about preparing to leave their one safe haven. But Tomik remained quiet, still thoughtful, distracted. Ral was used to the quiet, but the way he stared off into space twisted in his gut, still running the words he said over and over in his head.

"...I have an idea."

Tomik spoke suddenly enough that Ral jumped in his seat a bit, heart lurching as his nerves reached a peak. He settled soon enough. The words were innocuous, after all. Tomik stood, rifling through the neat cabinets until he found a cloth, the same he had put over Ral's eyes the first morning they'd spent together. It was nothing too elaborate, just a scrap from an old scarf he'd owned, but he knew what it would mean.

"Here. Hold out your left hand."

Ral blinked, but did what he was told. Tomik, smiling in that gentle way that soothed Ral's racing pulse, wrapped it around his wrist, tying it securely.

"What is this...?"

"A symbol. Maybe just something small. Kind of silly, I guess. But... No matter what, where we are, we'll have something of each other's with us, within sight."

The storm mage caught on quickly. He dug around his own things until he found his scarf. The thing was tattered enough already, covered in scorch marks, and it was easy enough to tug off a scrap of his own. He returned the gesture, fastening it around that delicate wrist with a growing sense of reverence.

"No... No, I understand," Ral said, his voice surprisingly soft, "I don't want to forget you." His eyes flicked to the white fluttering around his own arm. On its featureless surface were etched a hundred different uncomfortable questions. But it was  _ his _ . As long as he carried a piece of that love with him, none of those concerns mattered. Right?

"We won't," Tomik answered, nodding, "We never will."


	6. Control

Ral didn't want to admit that something felt wrong.

No, they were just fine, the two of them. Tomik was his lover, the one thing keeping him together. As Ravnica threatened to fall apart around them, they were a constant. A light in the darkness the Guildpact had left. Maybe he didn't need those memories anymore, Ral told himself. Jace was gone, possibly forever. And it was just as well, when he had something just as good. Right?  


Tomik was his rock, the one point of stability he had. But sometimes it threatened to erode under his fingertips.

Ral had brought Tomik to the beacon, and though he was hesitant to explain its full purpose, he stressed that the half-finished construction was dangerous. Far too many live wires to be poking around carelessly. And yet not even two minutes after this discussion he heard a loud crack! and turned to find Tomik clutching his hand, crying out in pain. The adrenaline and fear of losing his lover to some stupid accident carried him through as he walked Tomik through treating an electrical burn, but when it faded it left something stirring in his stomach.

He'd parted ways with him one night and watched as Tomik dropped a few zinos from his pockets, scrambling to pick them up, then turning away from his gargoyle, walking down a dark alleyway. A few moments later, Ral startled to attention as Tomik shouted for help, nearly having a heart attack as he saw some Guildless with a knife to his poor lover's throat, determined to shake down the 'undeserving' Orzhov for every bit of coin he had. Chasing the assailant away was no problem for a powerful mage of Ral's skill and stature, but as Tomik stared up at him with those wide, dewy eyes, he didn't feel heroic. He felt…

He felt…

Another night at the pub, the same one where he and Tomik had first met, meeting with Teysa over a few drinks to discuss business. Ral noticed that Tomik seemed distracted, staring off into the crowd of the bar. He was smiling and nodding slightly, and Ral even swore he saw him wink, but he was too busy to see what he was so happy about, with Teysa taking up most of his attention.

Turning back to look at Tomik, though, he bristled as another man, some random stranger, was leaned over the table, chatting up his lover. The advokist laughed awkwardly, and kept glancing over at Ral, more than he was acknowledging the man.

Ral, already stressed from his talks, felt the fraying edges of his patience snap with only one place to direct his growing rage. He grabbed the man by his scarf and pulled, wrapping it around his hand until it almost choked him. He yanked him until they were face to face, teeth grit.

"Back off." he growled. The man, terrified, whimpered as Ral shook him a few times, and scurried out the door the moment Ral let him go.

But as Ral went back over to Tomik to make sure he was alright, he noticed that his lover stared up at him, just as he did before, everytime something between them had gone wrong. Tomik held them too wide, enough to see the entire iris. Maybe he was just startled from Ral's outburst, but it made Ral's thoughts twist, as if the floor had been pulled out from under him.

For just a second, the target of Ral's anger changed, but it was enough.

"What the hell are you doing?" he hissed under his breath.

"W-what...?" Tomik stared on, like a frightened deer.

"Don't play dumb. You got that guy's attention, didn't you?" Ral's own eyes were getting wide, even fierce as his frustration worked itself higher, "You wanted him to come flirt with you."

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Tomik's eyes were beginning to mist over. He spoke a little louder than Ral had, which drew a few eyes from around the crowd to the two of them.

"You don't have to talk so loud..." Ral looked back and forth, starting to become uneasy. Were these people getting the wrong idea? They saw what just happened, right? “You just keep doing shit like this! It’s getting-”

"I don't know what you're accusing me of." Tomik said, his voice trembling slightly, "I thought you trusted me..."

"No! No, I do, I just..."

More people glanced towards them, eyes digging into Ral's skin.

"After all I've done for you... I can't believe this. You'd accuse me of-"

"I'm sorry." Ral finally gave in, hanging his head, "I... was wrong. I misunderstood. Sorry..."

Tomik sniffed, reaching out and lightly tugging on the piece of fabric wrapped around Ral's wrist. Ral’s heart jumped in his chest.

"We have something special between us, Ral," he said, tone more level, much to Ral's relief, "I know it can be hard, with your... reckless nature, but I trust you completely. Do you trust me in the same way?" He took Ral's hand gently, guiding it to the red strip on his own wrist.

"I-.... of course I do." Ral meant it, from the bottom of his heart. But he felt no more grounded from before. He was pinned, between his obligation to Tomik and the stares of the people around them. All there was to do was let it go, hope that it would just fade from memory, given time. Nowhere to turn but surrender.

Tomik smiled. After all that, it was one of the most beautiful things Ral had ever seen.

"I'm glad." Tomik said, lightly pulling on Ral's wrist wrapping once more before letting it go, "There's no room for jealousy here. What we have is too strong for that."

Ral's eyes didn't leave the fabric, where Tomik's hand had been. His heart fluttered, a sensation that combined with his uncertainty into something desperate and nauseous.

"Yeah." he said, voice distant. "Thanks."


End file.
